Whether you’re using a vibe solo or bringing it into sex with a partner, it’s important to read the instructions that come with your new toy. It’ll help you understand how it works and give you ideas on where to use it.
If you’re starting out solo, use it on the clitoris or vaginal opening, and experiment with pressure and friction. Try adding a little water-based lube to deepen the experience.
1. Clean it thoroughly
The most important thing to remember when you have a vibrator is that it comes into direct contact with your bodily fluids, so cleaning it regularly is imperative. Vibrators can harbor bacteria that can lead to an STI and even infection, but you don’t have to let that happen when you know the proper way to clean your vibrator.
The best and easiest way to keep your sex toys clean is to use a mild, antibacterial soap. This will usually do the trick for most couples’ toys, but you may want to read the directions for your specific toy before you start cleaning. The instructions will likely vary based on what material your toy is made from, whether it is waterproof, and how thorough you want to clean it.
If you have a silicone sex toy, you can usually just soak it in warm water and then wipe it down with a damp washcloth. This method is very quick and will disinfect your toy without a lot of extra work, but it’s not the best option for porous toys like rubber jelly or polyvinyl chloride (PVC) dildos because harmful bacteria could absorb into them.
You can also boil your silicone, glass or stainless steel sex toy for up to three minutes to thoroughly clean it. Just be sure to wrap your toy in a washcloth, monitor it carefully and avoid leaving it unattended to prevent damage from heat stress.
2. Don’t forget the batteries
A vibrator can’t do its magic if it doesn’t have power, so don’t forget to stock up on batteries when you’re at the store. You can purchase batteries at most pharmacies, big box stores, and online retailers. You can also opt for rechargeable batteries, which save money in the long run. Just be sure to check the manufacturer’s guidelines, as some models require a special type of battery and won’t work with standard types.
While you’re at it, pick up some lubricant too. Whether you’re using your toy alone or with a partner, a little bit of lube can make the experience even more satisfying, and it reduces friction that might cause discomfort. It’s important to remember that a silicone toy should only be used with water-based lubricants, as oil-based products can damage the material.
Now that your toy is clean and ready for play, take some time to get to know it. It’s helpful to familiarize yourself with the different intensity settings and pulsation modes before you start stroking around your erogenous zones. Set the mood—dim the lights, light some candles, put on a sexy playlist (any excuse to listen to 90s R&B), and wear some cute lacy underwear—and enjoy your newfound friend!
3. Don’t forget the lube
When you use a sex toy that involves insertion, you’ll need to apply lube to make the experience as pleasurable as possible. Usually, this means using a sex lube on the toy itself, or on your partner’s penis, vagina, or anus. Some sex toys, however, can be applied to the clitoris or other erogenous zones without any additional lubrication. If you’re new to sex toys, be sure to read the manufacturer’s guidelines carefully to find out what works best for your needs.
Then, apply a thin layer of your favorite sex lube to the surface of your new toy, before inserting it. This will make it easier for the toy to slide through any orifice you’re using it for. Many sex toy brands also sell sex lubes specifically made for their products, including warming lubes that gently heat the skin and cooling lubes that deliver a jolting pleasure.
Once you’ve got a feel for how your vibrator feels in the body, try experimenting with different positions and rhythms. If you’re using the toy with a partner, remember to communicate what you’re experiencing as well – sex therapists and sex-positivity advocates have talked for years about how communicating in bed can increase pleasure. Pop culture often encourages women to take cues from their partners when it comes to sex, but the best way to get the most pleasure out of your vibrator is by tuning into your own desires.
4. Don’t forget to play
The biggest tip sex experts offer is to always read the instructions on your new toy before you get started. “This will help you ease into using the toy and learn its features before you’re fumbling around with it in the middle of a steamy solo session,” Fleming says. “And it will also prevent you from accidentally adjusting settings you don’t want to!”
Most vibrators will have several settings, and you should start with the lowest one and work your way up. You may even find that you prefer a certain type of stimulation, so it’s worth trying out different modes on different areas of your body to see what feels good to you. “If you’re using a toy like a bullet or wand that focuses on the clitoris area, try running it along the length of the glans (head) of your clitoris,” Fleming suggests. “Or, you can use it to press against the vulva opening or G-spot.”
Just remember that masturbation is totally normal—and in fact can be very pleasurable. It’s a great way to explore your sensuality, figure out what kind of stimulation you like best, and can even improve your orgasms during sex with a partner. Plus, it helps prevent STIs and pregnancy. So, grab a glass of wine and some music—and don’t forget your lube!
